Reflections
by 16-Year-Old-Writer
Summary: WIP, AU. When his mother's sacrifice is not enough to protect him, Ichigo's guilt and despair drive him past the point of no return and he is transformed into a Hollow before anyone can do anything to prevent it. Six years later, while hunting down his murderer, a vengeful Ichigo is inadvertently caught up in Shinigami business...
1. Prologue: Mama

**Disclaimer:** Bleach and its characters in the manga and anime belong to Tite Kubo. I do not, in any way, claim rights to any of the characters, movies, songs, or other franchises that may appear in this work of _fan fiction_.

**Author's Note:** _Reflections_ is a collection of Ichigo-centric stories set in an alternate world where Ichigo died along with his mother and became a Hollow. Yes, this is one of_ those _stories. Well, actually, I was hoping to do things a little differently, but this is my fic and I'm definitely biased!

This story will be told in chronological order, unless stated otherwise, and will have long chapters, as well as short, drabble-sized ones, others will connect in an overarching plot, while some will be standalone pieces. All chapters are part of the same story. Any necessary warnings will be posted before the main body of the chapter, but there won't be anything more graphic than what you see in the manga or anime- however, if necessary, the rating of the fic will go up to M.

Some other things- I'm British, so there will be British spelling, and I will be using the Japanese name and honorifics system, as well as the Rōmaji, Spanish, and German for specific techniques and other Bleach-related paraphernalia. Translations will be in the End Note. Aaand I swear none of my other Author's Notes will be this long.

Any feedback is welcomed, please enjoy!

* * *

_**Reflections**_  
**Prologue - Mama  
**

Mama wasn't moving.

Ichigo was cold, and wet, and crying- _Okā-san, get up!_

But Mama wasn't moving.

There was a broken chain coming out of his chest, and every few minutes it hurt so badly that he had to bury his face in Mama's red, red back.

But Mama wasn't moving.

Ichigo was scared, and he knew that it was his fault that Mama had fallen down, and, with every second that went by, he realised just how hungry he was. But none of that really mattered because even when he shouted and pleaded and pulled at her arms, Mama still wouldn't open her eyes.

She wasn't moving.

As he stared at her cold, unmoving body, the chain links in his chest ran out with a _chink chink chink_, and Ichigo finally admitted to himself what he had known from the second he had woken up-

Mama was dead.

And then there was nothing but pain, then darkness, and fear, and _hunger_, in an endless sea of pure white sand.

* * *

**End Note:** _Okā-san_ (お母さん): Mother/mum/mom etc., used by children to address their own mothers. If someone was talking about someone else's mother, they would use a different word.


	2. CH1: Little Thing

**Disclaimer:** Bleach and its characters in the manga and anime belong to Tite Kubo. I do not, in any way, claim rights to any of the characters, movies, songs, or other franchises that may appear in this work of _fan fiction_.

Any feedback is welcomed, please enjoy!

* * *

_**Reflections**_  
**Chapter One - Little Thing**

In the beginning, he is a small thing. The desert he wakes up in is as vast as an empty ocean, and he feels all the smaller. Weak and afraid, he crawls with his belly to the sand, scenting the air for prey. It's a fruitless search; the fear in his blood is paralysing, even if he was strong enough to hunt, he wouldn't.

He knows what he must do, but he would rather run with his life assured.

His first meal is a dying Hollow; bloody and dragging itself between the dunes, it had fallen prey to a stronger predator. Like the Little Thing, it had had enough self-preservation to run while it still could, but had no more energy to find an easy meal for itself.

It had been a simple matter to run in and tear its throat out, chewing at the flesh, gnawing at bones, and sucking out the tangy blood, bitter with fear, along with the dying Hollow's reiryoku and soul.

Overall, it was a quick affair and it had left him wanting- his stomach still _ached_ with hunger- but fearing the dead Hollow's pursuers (for surely its attackers would not simply let it _go_), he had burrowed deep into the sand and tunnelled his way far, far away from the Endless Sea.

His next two meals go about much the same way, and one Endless Night he finds that he is no longer a Little Thing, but quite large, and fast, and _smart_ with the knowledge of three Hollows much older than he.

Fear is still a constant. But scavenging will no longer do.

So he hunts.

* * *

**End Note:** _Reiryoku_ (霊力): Spiritual Power, different from _Reiatsu_ (霊圧), which means Spiritual Pressure- the physical force/feeling/pressure of released _reiryoku_. The more _reiryoku_ a person has, the stronger the feeling of their _reiatsu_.


	3. CH2: Fast Thing

**Disclaimer:** Bleach and its characters in the manga and anime belong to Tite Kubo. I do not, in any way, claim rights to any of the characters, movies, songs, or other franchises that may appear in this work of _fan fiction_.

Any feedback is welcomed, please enjoy!

* * *

_**Reflections**_  
**Chapter Two - Fast Thing**

His first hunt is successful- most likely due to the fact that it is an ambush.

He takes care to find a solitary Hollow that feels as if they are at the same level as him, and then he stalks them for miles. After his prey suffers an unsuccessful hunt of its own, he launches himself at the bug-like Hollow he had followed for so long.

Its many arms are all bladed and he fears being cut with every swing of its bony appendages, but he is a Fast Thing and can dodge them all.

But the fear remains, so at the first chance he gets, he swipes his sharp claws at the Hollows neck and watches as its head goes flying. When he bites into the fleshier part of its torso, its arms are still twitching, and they knock against his shoulders, but he doesn't stop until the Hollow is empty of blood, and meat, and reiryoku.

It is the first satisfying meal he has had while under the lonely moon.

Afterwards, he is pleased with himself, and wastes no time in stalking down more prey. And as he gets stronger and stronger, so too must his prey become stronger.

It comes to the point where an ambush is pointless.

It comes to the point where he is no longer afraid.

It comes to the point where he lusts for blood in an entirely new way.

He wants to battle.

He _needs_ to.

* * *

**End Note:** _Reiryoku_ (霊力): Spiritual Power.


	4. CH3: Savage Thing

**Disclaimer:** Bleach and its characters in the manga and anime belong to Tite Kubo. I do not, in any way, claim rights to any of the characters, movies, songs, or other franchises that may appear in this work of _fan fiction_.

Any feedback is welcomed, please enjoy!

* * *

_**Reflections**_  
**Chapter Three - Savage Thing**

He has become a Savage Thing, and he rips into his prey with a ferocity yet unseen in the Endless Sea. He tears, and he consumes, and he destroys, and he gives the Hollows stupid enough to challenge him something new to fear.

Gone is the small, pathetic thing he was in the beginning. Gone is the fear that had him running and hiding. Now, he meets those bigger than he, and stronger than he, with a sort of single-minded brutality, and he breaks them down to pieces.

Now, the satisfaction of feeding is inconsequential next to the visceral high of blood lust, of being taken over by pure instinct.

Battle is beautiful savagery, and it suits him well.

Though, it gives others ridiculous notions.

The rats who think they can challenge him come together one Endless Night and gather around him.

He is perched on a rock, trying to warm it- a futile attempt to imitate a lizard sunning itself. The noise of the assembled Hollows annoys him, and he digs his claws into the rock.

The screech of bone on pale quartz silences the bottom-feeders.

"Go away," he says. It's a compelling sound to some of the Hollows, and they shrink back, but others grow more bold.

Still, whatever words they had brought with them seem to have fled.

Anger creeps into his bones, and he stands. His hunger has never abated; it has always been a dull, beating ache that he carries with him to every corner of the Endless Sea. But he is ever willing to try.

Splaying his claws against the cool sand, he rears up on his hind legs and _roars_.

They come all at once, all gaping maws and grabbing fingers and _greed_, but he knows full well what they plan to do- the echoes of a previous meal's soul whispering the secrets of Hueco Mundo, and rumours... rumours of a place below the sand...

So instead of charging at them, he lets his reiatsu pour out and ensnare them. There is not a single one of them that would prove a challenge and so he entwines his reiatsu tightly with theirs, and pulls.

Helpless, they are drawn to him; their teeth and ambitions dulled.

He makes their power his own, and feels a new door within his soul open.

Then, he begins to sink down.

* * *

**End Note:** _Hueco Mundo_: literally translates to Hollow World in Spanish.


	5. CH4: Big Thing

**Disclaimer:** Bleach and its characters in the manga and anime belong to Tite Kubo. I do not, in any way, claim rights to any of the characters, movies, songs, or other franchises that may appear in this work of _fan fiction_.

Any feedback is welcomed, please enjoy!

* * *

_**Reflections**_  
**Chapter Four - Big Thing**

He is Kaneda Daisuke.

...

She is Kimura Chiyo.

...

Akiyama Yuki.

... no...

Kawajirou Hiroshi.

... no...

Miyamino Rin.

... no...

Takeshi Yunako.

... no...

Ando Tarou.

... _no_...

Oda Hitomi.

... _no_...

They are Garra Gigante.

**_NO!_**

...

They are Kurosaki Ichigo.

...

They are **_hungry_**.

... _yes_.

* * *

**End Note:**_ Garra Gigante_: literally, Giant Claw in Spanish.

Some explanation for that: most high-level regular Hollows seem to have sort of derivative names e.g. Grand Fisher & Metastacia, while Adjuchas class and higher seem to have more 'regular' names e.g. Yammy Llargo or Coyote Starrk. As Menos type Hollows are constantly under the threat of having their personality consumed by the other Hollows they have eaten, it would make sense to assume that a Hollow that had lost it's primary personality in a fight against the other Hollows it had eaten would assume a more general and/or descriptive name. So, Garra Gigante would have been the name of Gillian!Ichigo if he had not been strong enough to assert himself as the dominant personality.


	6. CH5: Cognition and Consciousness

**Disclaimer:** Bleach and its characters in the manga and anime belong to Tite Kubo. I do not, in any way, claim rights to any of the characters, movies, songs, or other franchises that may appear in this work of _fan fiction_.

Any feedback is welcomed, please enjoy!

* * *

_**Reflections**_  
**Chapter Five - Cognition and Consciousness**

He had not relished his time as a Gillian. A Big, lumbering Thing. Slow and dull, he had moved with the rest of them in the Forest of Menos as if they were one, stupid entity.

It had taken him a while to beat back and suppress the other Hollows now living in his body. But awareness had come with a new burst of energy and he had not wasted any time ripping into the closest Menos as soon as he could think for himself for just a second.

So intense was his hatred for the Gillian that he had not stopped until he had devoured every last one in the herd he had found himself in. It had made him feel content for a while, but of course, the night had not ended there.

Drawn by the rapid release of new reiatsu, there had been more than a few Adjuchas foolhardy enough to try and conquer him. He had eagerly accepted their challenge, filled with glee at fighting once more, and maybe having the chance to stop the hunger.

The fighting had eventually ended, but as always, he had been left with his hunger.

It seemed to be growing, still, even as he had shrunk down again. With a tugging and squeezing sensation, he had been compressed into a size smaller than his last form before changing into a Gillian. But now he stood upright, no longer hunched forward, at least, not too much- the instinct to protect his belly still stubbornly lingered from his days as a small, pathetic thing, he thought with disgust.

A redundant instinct, now that he had an Adjuchas' thick hide and condensed reiryoku. That would protect him from most things. Everything else, his new, sharper claws; his spiked tail; or his new-found ability to manipulate Ceros, would take care of.

Still, there had to be something said about the wonders of evolution. Though his mind was not clear, still filled with a thousand voices or more, each of which he had defeated, he had developed enough restraint to put the fight second on his list of priorities.

Before, he had never lacked in smarts, fully capable of forming tactics and little tricks to surprise his prey with; he had enjoyed the momentary spark of realisation and fear that had flashed in their eyes before his teeth had sunk into them, but he always lost himself in the moment. When fighting, he had become a mindless thing- wild and uncontainable, he would fight and devour and destroy until there was nothing left. It had been distracting, but he had not cared at the time.

It was important now- the ability to focus on other things, to focus on a long-term goal.

That was another change; goals. Once upon a time, he had thought he could fight and eat and not need anything else in the world. Evolution had disabused him of that ridiculous notion, too.

This was the foolishness of a young Hollow. Of a stupid Hollow.

He would always be hungry, that was a fact of life for him, so why pursue the task of appeasing it with such determination?

He lived to battle, but it would be a boring life if he had no challengers, no one that could take him to the edge of death, to make him feel pain, to make him work for his victory, so why seek out unfulfilling battles when the true challengers would find him eventually?

He had risen above such things. He needed something more compelling to occupy his time.

In life, he had been Kurosaki Ichigo. A Hollow had murdered him, and stolen something that was his.

He did not know who the Hollow was, but he would find them, and kill them.

He did not remember what the Hollow had stolen, but he would take it back, and he would never lose it again.

* * *

**End Note:**_ Gillian_: Lowest Great Hollow in Japanese, or _Menos Grande_: Big Minus in Spanish. They are the lowest class of Menos type Hollows, which are much stronger than regular Hollows by a considerable margin. They are possibly bigger than any other Hollow, but they can easily lose their dominant personality, resulting in a Hollow made only of instinct. Once lost, a dominant personality can never again assert itself and the Gillian can no longer evolve.

Forest of Menos: the area underneath the main desert of Hueco Mundo that is occupied by Menos type Hollows only.

_Reiatsu_ (霊圧): Spiritual Pressure, the physical feeling/force of released reiryoku. _Reiryoku_ (霊力): Spiritual Power.

_Adjuchas_: Intermediate Great Hollow in Japanese- the next class of Menos after Gillian/Menos Grande. They are much smaller than regular Hollows, but still bigger than humans. They are very smart and much stronger than Gillian, however, they still suffer from some of the same problems. They must constantly assert themselves as the dominant personality lest they lose themselves and become unable to evolve past Adjuchas class. Unlike Gillian, they are mostly solitary, and if any part of them gets eaten, they will be permanently barred from evolving.

_Cero_: literally, Zero in Spanish, or Hollow Flash (虚閃) in Japanese. It is a Menos/Arrancar/Visored specific move, and it is simply a blast of highly concentrated spiritual power, usually fired from the mouth. Depending on the user, they can vary in strength, speed, and body part they can be fired from. It is a long range attack, but is much more destructive/effective at short range.


End file.
